I'm Gonna Catch That Train

Okay, after that long ramble I wrote yesterday, if you’re still with me, I’m amazed. You got guts. I just wanted to add that I can’t believe I left out a most obvious quote about our bodies from Paul in Romans 12 Context: Paul has just described in detail what salvation is all about and sung a little hymn, then he says: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” God has bought us, so now our bodies belong to Him. The thing is, we have to surrender (ack!) them to Him on purpose... but some act of the mind.

The Edge, Bono, and B.B. King

But I don’t think giving Him our bodies means, any kind of denial or extreme asceticism. I mean, there are useful spiritual disciplines like fasting and silence, but I think these are just to be practiced for a time. Jesus fasted for 40 days... not his whole life. In fact, at other times he was accused of being a glutton and a drunkard! (Matthew 11)  I think, instead, it means treating your body with the respect God has given it... and being ready to do what He wants us to do and go where He wants us to go... Now that we are his, we no longer do whatever we like, but follow His leading... Like Jesus told Peter: When you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” (John 21) .... and like in this song by U2 (with BB King) – “I did what I did before love came to town.” 

Maybe this is the answer to my confusion about surrender... (ie. what is it? how is it done?) ... that is, just giving yourself over to Someone else's plans...

Everybody Rock Your Body

(This one is going to be extra garbled ... because it’s all about something I don’t know how to think or talk about... I have been typing on it for, like, two days... and it's still all over the pace... It really is, truly, just questions, and supposin’s...)

The "quiet Beatle"

We were watching the show about George Harrison on HBO the other night, and first of all – I’m a BIG FAN. I love all the Beatles, and George especially seems to have been a beautiful human being... That said, because the movie went into detail about George’s involvement in Krishna/Hinduism, I found myself really thinking about ... well, stuff... you know, matter... specifically our physical bodies. I mean, I’m the last one who is qualified to talk intelligently about Hinduism, but I just found it all ... interesting and confusing.

As a Hindu, George was all about how it was only the soul that is real... that the body (and all other physical matter was an illusion... He said, “One’s values are profoundly changed when he is finally convinced that creation is only a vast motion picture and that not in, but beyond, lies his own ultimate reality.” 

According to George’s friend Eric Clapton, George translated this to mean that whatever he did with his body didn’t matter. This is highly convenient if you enjoy smoking and cheating on your wife, right? But in that case, why bother being a vegetarian? Just wondering...

I did a little internet research (as in, it may or may not be correct) and found that the way Krishnas apply this is to try to wean themselves off the needs and pleasures of the material world. What I think about George in light of this, is this: 1. Smoking is reeeeally hard to quit... maybe he was trying. I think the movie said he did quit in the late 80s. 2. And as for infidelity – I think maybe he was too used to being a Beatle and having whatever woman he wanted... When my husband said to me, “If he was so spiritual, why did he smoke and sleep around?” I could only think of all the things I lack in my struggle to become more Christlike. I don’t know that it necessarily makes us hypocrites... just still in progress.

So then I started thinking about the Christian view of the body, which is also a little confusing. Jesus spoke mostly about the spiritual world. He said it’s not what goes into the mouth that makes a person unclean, it’s what comes out. And the whole book of John has a lot of people thinking physically, and Jesus trying to make them think spiritually. Like Nicodemus (John 3) – he wondered how a man could re-enter his mother’s womb to be born again, when Jesus was speaking metaphorically about being born again. And Paul said we would get new bodies in heaven (1 Cor. 15), so does this make them “disposable?” 

On the other hand, Paul specifically addressed arguments like the one George made – that since our bodies were temporary, it doesn’t matter what we do with them. His reasoning was this: because Jesus bought us with a price, because we are part of His Body, because we contain the Holy Spirit... That is to say, our bodies are now sooooo valuable, that we don’t need to be mixing it up with prostitutes and the like. (1 Cor. 6)

I think Paul knew how powerful sex is, believing fully that when people do it, they actually become one. This is found in the “marriage” of Adam and Eve (Gen. 2) and also in Jesus’ teachings (Matt. 19). Paul recommends people stay single and celibate so that they can focus on the Lord’s work... (1 Cor. 7) Not because sex is bad, but because it’s ... well, it can be pretty distracting! Celibacy is not mandatory, though – he says, pretty much, if you can’t keep your hands off each other, then by all means get married. I guess Christians have a reputation for being sort of fuddy-duddies with regards to sex, but I don’t really see this going with the Paul’s view of the body.

It is interesting to me that in speaking of our bodies Paul was only concerned about sex (“All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” (1 Cor. 6)) He didn’t care what people ATE, as long as they did it “in good conscience.” I guess back in those days, they didn’t have all the crazy, artificial food we have now, and they got plenty of exercise just being alive... so they didn’t worry about food polluting their bodies. Instead they worried about the spiritual implications of what they were eating... “Am I breaking any rules?” “Will this food make me unclean?” 

The Jews had restrictions on what they could or couldn’t eat, but Peter’s vision on the roof of Cornelius’s house pretty much set Christians free to eat anything (Acts 10) . This freed them up to hang out with non-Jewish people, which was cool for spreading the gospel... Later, Paul addresses Gentile Christians who struggled with whether to eat food sacrificed in idol temples – to Zeus, for instance. And even that didn’t bother Paul... as long as it didn’t give the person the heebie jeebies or offend anyone. To Paul, food was needed for survival, and also a way to give and receive hospitality – to show inclusiveness. And that was it. I guess it’s our crazy, lazy culture that’s turned it into something else. This was a real break from how Paul was raised – with clean and unclean foods. Did Jesus’ death also transform the meaning of food for us?

Adam and Eve

I really don’t have a point or a summary, except to say that Adam was created with a body, which, I assume, before the fall, was perfect and holy like the rest of creation. Then Adam and Eve’s sin corrupted their flesh... Made it a struggle to give birth, to work, to be married... Made it mortal. So, when Jesus came – God made flesh – did this give the body renewed holiness? Was it because it needed to be re-holified to contain the Holy Spirit? So... the new thing that Christ brought was that we live in our bodies, but are at the same time able to live “in the Spirit”...? Another thing I noticed is the part where Paul said he’d rather be in heaven with Jesus, but he had a lot of stuff to do in his body... So, while our eternal destination is important, our temporary vehicle is also useful... And in the words of Paul: “So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.” (2 Cor. 5)

May Not Be Confused With Other Offers

In my job as a graphic designer, I make a LOT of coupons. And if you’re familiar with coupons at all, you know that they have to have disclaimers. Well, I guess they don’t HAVE to have them, but if they don’t, the business offering the discount could end up giving away much more than they bargained for. Like, if they don’t put an expiration date, they could be offering the coupon throughout eternity. Or if they don’t put “lesser or equal value” they could have people trying to get a free steak when they order a sandwich. Or if they don’t put “Limit one per coupon” they could have people trying to buy them out at a discounted price.

Well, I’m not selling anything here, but I do feel sometimes that I should put a disclaimer. I mean, I’m just a human being – I don’t know what I’m talking about...! So, from here on out, when you read anything posted here, imagine there is an asterisk beside it that refers to the following disclaimer.

Five Guys fries: blog fuel

*Bigmouth Strikes Again is not a licensed therapist or Biblical scholar. Any observation or advice contained herein is based solely on personal experience and the reflections of a brain addled by previous starvation, exhaustion, sleep deprivation, caffeine, french fries, motherhood, perimenopause... but also, copious amounts of grace. 

This blog is not to be used as an instruction manual. Thoughts expressed are solely for the writer’s own entertainment, the potential entertainment of the reader, and also the glory of God (where applicable.) Any truth that leaks in is purely a gift from aforementioned God (the party of the First Part.) Reader should weigh the information presented in his or her own heart. Any questions generated by blog will be carefully considered and thoughtfully answered. Blog may be shared and/or forwarded at the discretion of the reader. Blog writer is not responsible for any insult or injury that may or may not be inferred or caused by the statements made in this blog. Expires when forgotten, but may be reread at any time. Batteries not included.

Busted!!!

AAAAHHHH! Busted!!! Yesterday our pastor said we must stop living as if it is all about us. As if we are constantly looking in mirrors measuring how we are... He was actually talking about the church working together in love and unity, in which case it makes perfect sense... like... how can we get anything done if everyone is thinking, “this is all about ME...”? Nonetheless, it made me a little paranoid... Is this blog actually me just doing a lot of navel-gazing... as if it’s all about me? I really hope not... 

See? I have a LOT of
hairs... but He still knows
EXACTLY how many...

I hope rather that in telling my story (see yesterday’s post), I am really trying to describe one little piece of God’s work in the world... It’s a tiny part of HIS story – how He works with His people one-on-one to accomplish His purposes. When you read my story, I hope that you’re not really looking just at me – I mean, I’m sort of crazy, right?! I hope that instead you are noticing the greatness of God shining through that story of a lost girl who got found... I hope you’ll see how much love God has for each person... the little and big things God did for just one of them in that story... and how relevant God is to the life of every ordinary individual.

Even now, He's
tracking down every
single sheep...

God is not just a concept but a personal Being, who loves us all individually, and this is obvious in personal stories - told by regular people. We can see how involved the great God of the universe is with each tiny human. Jesus told the story of the woman who had lost one of 100 coins and busted her hump to find it... and the story of the shepherd who looked and looked to find one lost sheep out of his herd of 100. In these stories, the woman and the shepherd don’t just say to themselves, “That’s okay, I’m moving on... I have 99 others.” No, each item is valuable to them, and worth combing the floor/hills for until found. In the same way, the One who made the universe knows how many hairs are on each person’s head. And in my case, that’s saying something!

God’s plans are huge - they involve the whole world... every people and nation on earth, as it were... but not just people as a whole, but each individual unit. And while the whole of the beautiful story of God’s creative plan for salvation is not about me, it actually kind of is. And I have to live with myself day in and day out, so ... how it applies to me is kind of on my mind! And I am hoping that while I continue to tell my stories and work things out, you might see that I’m really telling stories about God... because He’s about everybody. 

Okay, whatever.

Writing about Arthur Kane got me thinking about conversion stories... I’d like to just read a book of them. Has anyone compiled such a book? If not.. maybe that’ll be a good project for me... 

I mean, God works in all kinds of crazy ways, right? My own conversion was kind of twisty-turny and gradual, yet sudden... I know that some people are raised in the church and/or by fervently Christian parents and become Christians without ever having one of those AHA! moments... while to some people, Christianity is a brilliant new idea that grabs them by the ... heart. And... sometimes even those who are raised in the church discover Christianity later – as a great white ball of light they had been looking at all their lives, but never really seen.

There's a stained glass window
with Jesus knocking in the church
I grew up in... Maybe that's why,
when I heard someone knocking,
I knew immediately who it was...

That’s MY story. I grew up in the Methodist Church... was even pretty involved: sang in the choir, went to the youth group... I accepted the concept of Jesus in my brain, even prayed when I was totally in one of those holes high schoolers get in... you know – popularity, insecurity and bad skin... but it wasn’t until I was completely desperate that I would say that I really took Christ for who he is and what he did for me. 

By “completely desperate” I mean sinking into a hole of anorexia and a relationship that was draining me of all that I was, or imagined myself to be. At this time God made sure that when I sought help, I inadvertently stepped into a nest of Christians... And while exploring the causes of my deep misery, I figured it out... that I was only after the approval of men in one fashion or another – but only God could - and did – love me completely. And then despite coming to this truth in my mind, I resisted like crazy. I put up thousands of tons of resistance... “but I can’t be like that!” ... “but it will ruin my relationship with my boyfriend” (not that THAT ship hadn’t already sailed!) ... “but people will think I’m weird/nerdy/crazy...!”

But God is a persistent suitor. Suffice it to say, He really bugged the crap out of me. Finally one day I was driving the 35 minutes to work and I turned off the radio and just began to tell God to leave me alone. I said something like, “I don’t even WANT to want to become a Christian.” Fortunately for me, I had no idea that silence is like a magnet to God... So I did this for two days and then the third day some barrier came crashing down and I said, “Okay, whatever.” And that was my highly poetic assent to the Great God of the Universe. 

What followed has been partly poetic and partly extremely gritty. I really embraced my “saved-ness” and at the same time continued to struggle with my fallenness... and still do, come to think of it. It was just more obvious at the time, what with me weighing 70 pounds and crying a lot.

It was extremely helpful that, in addition to being rescued by the grace of God, I was also, by being involved in church, getting to know people who had already struggled with some of life’s questions, and, more often than not, give pretty sensible advice like, “Remember how much God loves you,” “Break up with that guy,” and “Read the Bible.” (Actually, no one ever told me to break up with my boyfriend... they were just extra patient while I figured that one out for myself.)

Of course I did hit the jackpot with regards to my church choice – I landed in a really good, graced out church right at the beginning... I guess I could have blundered into a place that pickets funerals, or bombs things... in which case I hope I would have been granted enough discernment to flee... but since this was not what happened, I guess I’ll never know.

And that is the short version of my come-to-Jesus story. Questions? Comments? Do you have a story? I’d love to put it in my book...

Put Your Arms Around THIS Memory...

CONTAINS SPOILERS – You may have noticed that I like documentaries... I’ve written about more than one here. Strangely enough, I also love the fantasy genre... fairies and hobbits and whatnot... but really, true stories and real people... well, they’re just brilliant, right?

One of my favorite docs is New York Doll, the story of Arthur “Killer” Kane, one of the founding members of Glam band the New York Dolls. It's full of great music... but it is, and it isn’t, a rock film – a where-are they-now/behind-the-music a la VH1. It has elements of that kind of film, but what it really is... is the story of a man who hit rock bottom, was rescued by God and a religious community, and was granted his dying wish.

To give context, as the movie does, the New York Dolls (David Johansen, Johnny Thunders, Arthur Kane, Billy Murcia and Sylvan Sylvain) were a great band from the early seventies – leading the GLAM charge stateside. Their sound was raw and edgy – a breath of fresh air in the wasteland of 70s AOR. And at that time, they looked... like they were from outer space. They were men, but wore heels and makeup. Of course, this is all very commonplace right now, but when they did it, it was actually probably too soon! They were punk before punk, hair before hair bands and grungy before grunge. If Mick and Keith were the bad boys of rock and roll, David Johansen and Johnny Thunders were the ... well, the really, amazingly bad boys of rock and roll! (On a personal note, I was standing in front of the stage once when Johnny Thunders was playing in a Raleigh club, and was invited at the end of the show to come back and “party” with Johnny...! Thanks, but... no...!)

The New York Dolls. 
Arthur Kane is on the far right.

Lots of great bands claim the Dolls as a major influence and many lesser bands went on to make a large wad of cash imitating them (Poison, Motley Crue and those guys...) As the movie points out, it was a shame that the New York Dolls were unable to stay together and reap the rewards of their innovations. Instead, the band disintegrated from the effects of drugs, alcohol and ... youthful idiocy?

Which leads us to the post-Dolls story of Arthur “Killer” Kane... the band’s bassist. While the other members of the group continued to play in different bands and David Johansen made a name for himself as lounge lizard Buster Poindexter, Arthur, now in L.A., spiraled lower and lower into alcohol and bitterness... until in desperation he called the 800 number in a TV Guide ad for the Mormon church.

And after a what he describes as a "psychedelic" conversion experience, Arthur gave his life over to the church... Now I am not a Mormon and don’t agree with much of their teaching, but they do worship Jesus, so they've got that going for them! And what happened next to Arthur was ... just ... a beautiful story of a community of faith embracing a broken person and finding a place for him. Those people just reached out and took him in and became his family.

Johnny Thunders – I coulda
partied with this guy...

This is where we see Arthur taking the hour-and-a-half bus ride across town to work in the church’s family research library; we get to hear from to the little old ladies he works with and the elders who teach and and counsel him... He is a most fervent Mormon, but at the same time, it is obvious that Arthur is not exactly all there... He is extremely bitter about the way his life has turned out and inordinately nostalgic for the past. He talks of little else than reuniting with his former band — even though there was no actual possibility of it happening.

In the DVD extras, the filmmaker says that he had in the back of his mind that Arthur’s story would be a great movie, but was not actively pursuing the idea... when, lo and behold, British pop star Morissey had invited the Dolls to play a festival in London. The movie then follows him to rehearsals in New York, then London. There is a lot of good footage here of the band members interacting. Arthur had built up a fear in his mind of David Johansen, and dreaded meeting him again... 

Arthur in the old days.

So what did he do? He discussed it with his bishop, who gave him what I think was excellent advice. He said, “Arthur, just be a good Latter Day Saint.” Now, again, I’m not a Latter Day Saint in that way, but “just be a good Christian,” is always appropriate advice. The reunion was touching, and while David Johansen teased him a little about being a Mormon, he seemed more curious than derisive, and Arthur led them in beautiful, humble prayer before the show.

At the festival the Dolls performed a transcendent set for an adoring crowd... In this, the filmmaker pulls all the viewer’s heartstrings... cutting the festival film with old footage of the young Dolls... plus choir music (the Mormon Tabernacle Choir maybe?) to show that this was, without a doubt, the answer to Arthur’s sincere prayers. And Arthur... He is a picture of joy, humility and gratitude... Morrissey noted that he appeared to have been praying throughout the show... and when Bob Geldoff asks him if he will be going back to the library, he says, “They’re expecting me – we’re understaffed.”

And Arthur does return to his old/new life... only to be diagnosed with leukemia and die just a few months later. So that's your spoiler. It's a bittersweet ending, but what stands out to me, is how sweet and personal our great God can be... that God would reach out and perform this extraordinary miracle for just one child of His... That's the kind of God I'm talking about! 


Now here's Johnny to play us out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4pPkeI2N-c

He's Real!

One of the things churches encourage you to do is determine what your gifts are so you can use them to serve God and the people around you. And no matter what kind of gift-determining workshop or quiz I take, mine always comes up the same: evangelism. If you don’t speak “Christianese,” that means telling people about Jesus. And, of course, the first thoughts that leap to my mind are of missionaries in the jungle... and the guys at UNC in the pit yelling out sermons... Neither of which I am likely to be – I mean, I hate public speaking, and as for third world missions... I don’t even like camping! 

So what does it mean for me? I mean, Jesus himself told us to tell everyone... “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” I guess you could argue that he was just talking to the disciples, but I feel the weight of it as well... 

A Pit preacher at UNC

I mean, whether Jesus was talking to to me or not, I don’t really feel I should keep such great news to myself. Jesus is “the Way, the Truth and the Life,” “the Great I Am,” “The Bread of Life” “the Living Water”... I know these are just words to a lot of people, but in my life who Jesus was and is, has made the all the difference. So, why would I not want to spread that around? I mean, say you were dying of thirst and I knew where the watering hole was... I hope I would leap at the chance to share this vital information.

My way of sharing, I guess, is a bit more ... casual ... than, say, a missionary or a Pit preacher. Not that I am against these ways... I have heard a lot of stories about people being saved in so many crazy ways, that I can’t really poo-poo any way the gospel gets out there. And missionaries are a vital, exciting part of the God’s family. All over the world they are running clinics, building schools, helping people with AIDS, planting churches, sharing the good news... saving lives, saving souls.  And with regard to methods and sincerity, Paul said he didn’t care what people’s motives are who preach the gospel - as long as the gospel is preached! And as long as we are human, I don’t believe we are ever going to have pure motives. We can just do the best we can.

He's real!

But, back to how I personally go about trying to fulfill the “great commission” of evangelism...  I actually don’t really have a way other than just being who I am in front of people. In “Christianese,” I think that’s what they call “Incarnational” – living God's love and forgiveness out in your body – and hopefully, pouring it out onto others. I don’t know how this “incarnational” life looks to others, but it’s really all I’ve got to share: with me you get front row seats to see a person saved by grace alone and not be any virtue or activity of her own... A person who succeeds sometimes, fails a LOT, but whose life exclaims, “He’s real!”

Actually, this way of mine – it’s not solely “in the body.” As anyone who has ever worked with me can tell you, pieces of the gospel often spill out of my mouth in conversation – not if we’re talking about work, of course, but in the natural way people who spend all day together might carry their conversation into the personal and philosophical realm. Of course, you know this too, if you’ve read very many of my blog posts. I didn’t set out to write a “Christian” blog, it’s just the lens that I see the world through, and if I’m really exercising my big mouth, it’s just going to come out. As our pastor says, you’ve really got to put a name on it, or how will people know?!

Bill Mallonee

I know I’ve probably offended bunches of people just be being me, and at this point, I’ll extend a blanket apology to you all... but in my defense, I was just being myself! If I were honing in on people as targets of purposeful Christ-sharing, well, I’m pretty sure that would piss them off even more. Instead, I’m more or less living out this song by Bill Mallonee called Double Cure, about a man who, sick of himself, throws his lot in with the Everlasting... then out of his joy and relief urges everyone to spread the news... to lead others to the “double cure,” that is, being freed from the guilt and the power of sin: “So go and call your neighbor/proceed with all due haste/go grab your wife and sweet family/see there is no time to waste. We’re gonna drink out of that fountain/on a hill called double cure/i wanna show you my allegiance Lord/yes i wanna be a son of Yours.” It’s a most excellent song, and you can see the man himself singing it here. This particular version is missing the ringing guitar intro that the studio recording has, but it’s still a great song.

As I think about it, my way is both easier and also more difficult... I don’t have to go to the other side of the world and live in a hut, or expose myself to the horrors of public speaking... but I do have to live every single day in the presence of God and man as one who belongs to the God who is LOVE and GRACE. And, as I’ve written before, how to actually let Jesus drive is one of the mysteries of life to me. But that’s just another way I confess that I don’t have it together... another way I present a good failure model, right?

And of course, I may never get “credit” for leading anyone to Christ – not that anyone’s counting ... are they? I remember being in a class with an Intervarsity leader who began a sentance this way, “When I am leading people to Christ...” and I thought, “What?” To my knowledge I have never actually led a person to Christ. I mean, people I know have come to Christ, but I can’t pinpoint any one conversation or event in which I was involved that caused this to happen. All I did was be myself in full view.

Anyway, that’s what kind of evangelism I’m all about. It’s easy. It’s hard. It’s all I can do.